Birth Trauma Therapy

Guilt, Sadness, and Disconnection After Birth

You can’t stop replaying the birth in your mind, wondering if things could have gone differently. The fear, the loss of control, the moments where you felt unheard—it all lingers. Whether or not you brought your baby home, you may feel disconnected from either yourself or your newborn. You’re struggling with guilt or sadness when others expect you to feel something else entirely. Maybe you’re even having moments where you feel out of your body, as if you’re looking down on yourself from above. Some days, you go through the motions, only to realize hours have passed and you barely remember what happened—you were there, but it felt like you weren’t fully present. And no matter how much time has passed, certain sounds, places, or conversations bring everything rushing back, leaving you anxious, overwhelmed, and unsure how to move forward.

Signs You May Have Experienced a Traumatic Birth

The simplest thing I can say is this: If your birth felt traumatic to you, then it was. Your feelings are completely valid, and no one else gets to decide that for you. Whether or not others would label your birth as “traumatic” doesn’t matter—what matters is how you feel.


Signs You May Be Struggling After a Traumatic Birth:

  • Feeling disconnected from your baby

  • Shock over what you went through, trying to make sense of it

  • Constantly replaying or obsessing over the birth

  • Sadness or depression because your birth didn’t go as planned

  • Guilt for feeling “ungrateful” when you have a healthy baby

  • Guilt that you did something wrong if your baby wasn’t healthy or didn’t survive

  • Moments of feeling out of body, looking down on yourself, or not feeling real (depersonalization)

  • Losing time or gaps in your memory (dissociation)

  • Feeling anxious, on edge, or hyperaware of danger

  • Developing new rituals or habits to prevent harm to your baby or loved ones

  • Experiencing panic attacks or intense fear when triggered

  • Scary, intrusive thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere

  •   And more…

 

How Therapy & Brainspotting Can Help You Heal from Birth Trauma

I’ve worked with many moms who felt stuck in the aftermath of a difficult or traumatic birth—overwhelmed by anxiety, intrusive thoughts, grief, or memories they couldn’t shake. Through therapy and brainspotting, they’ve found relief, reclaiming a sense of safety and connection with themselves and/or their baby. Many have told me they finally feel lighter, more present, and that their “symptoms” have either lessened or gone away altogether. I put “symptoms” in quotes because these are actually normal responses to what you’ve been through—a way your nervous system is trying to cope.

For some moms, talking through their experience and building coping skills is enough to start feeling better. But for others, traditional talk therapy alone isn’t enough, and Brainspotting can be a powerful way to process trauma and reconnect with yourself. If you’d like to learn more about how Brainspotting works, check out my page on trauma therapy.

Start Birth Trauma Therapy Now

You don’t have to live with the constant thoughts and regrets about how your birth didn’t go as you envisioned. Talking to someone who truly understands—and has helped others heal—can make all the difference.

Imagine a life where you’re able to focus on what matters most to you—whether that’s your baby, your family, or even yourself. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to do this alone.

I offer virtual therapy for anyone in California. Contact me now or schedule your free 15-minute consultation, and let’s talk about what you need. I can’t wait to connect with you!

Frequently asked Questions about Birth Trauma Therapy:

  • You could probably ask the same question about trauma therapy in general. In my opinion, that would be a bottom up approach, or a brain based therapy. This would be something like brainspotting, EMDR, somatic experiencing- you’re working with how trauma is stored in the body instead of simply just talking about it.

  • If you feel like your birth was traumatic- then it was. Just because others might not view it as traumatic, doesn’t make it any less valid. There is no set criteria that classifies your birth as traumatic, it all depends on how you feel about it.

  • Often it is related to poor care during labor and delivery, and/or not feeling heard, or not feeling like your needs matter. It is also more common when there is an unplanned event during your labor and delivery such as an emergency c-section, immense pain, stillbirth, complications with the baby, health complications with mom, or interventions done without informed consent.

  • Not necessarily. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a diagnosis with a set criteria. Birth trauma is defined by however you felt about your birth. However, someone with birth trauma may meet criteria for PTSD, but not always.

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